August: Allowing Complexity in our Parental Relationships

Elaine Raif • August 9, 2024

We are flawed humans– our imperfections will inevitably create challenges in every season of our lives. We will continuously be tasked to navigate this practice of not punishing ourselves for things we can no longer change.


While it’s tempting to look back at our suffering and draw self-blame, know that we have another choice: self-forgiveness. Self-forgiveness is key to healing and it will be unique to you as you grow a deeper understanding of your past experiences. 


Self-forgiveness is hard and scary… at times, we might even feel like we don’t deserve or aren’t worthy of it. Through therapy, we unpack our hurt and the hurt we’ve caused; we uncover and make meaning of our past choices; then we must learn to meet all (younger) versions of ourselves with compassion. We allow ourselves to start anew, to try again…


When we don’t, we gradually cultivate a path to destruction and self-hatred. Self-hatred is not protecting you or anyone else. 


There is so much anguish and pain for our younger selves. When we’re ready, to forgive our past self is to breathe new life into our choices and healing today. We walk with all versions of self so we must try to make space for self-forgiveness.


Repeat this mantra: I will not condemn my past self for the knowledge and wisdom I have now. I will choose to forgive myself in ways that feel kind and meaningful to me.

Written by: Elaine Raif

Enjoyed this message?


 feel free to share it by clicking below

By Elaine Raif March 14, 2025
Happy 2025, community! This month’s newsletter is dedicated to our new rebranding journey! Don’t worry- we are the same team of clinicians, in the same offices, simply going through a makeover. Throughout the month, we’ll share glimpses of our new brand and how you can stay connected to us as we make the (digital) move! We’d like to introduce: Tala Mental Health Tala [tah-la] Mental Health is inspired by the ancient Filipina goddess of the stars, Tala—a guiding light in the darkest moments. We aim to be a beacon of light, offering a comforting sense of direction and a non-judgmental space that illuminates your story. From our core values, to our visual branding… we represent Tala. We wanted to honor our team of healers and our community of warriors, champions and heroes in a special way. So… We thought it was only fitting to kick off the new year with an identity that celebrates all of us. We’re excited to share this new journey with you all– the ones who have inspired us and helped shape our collective identity. We walk this path because it represents both our team and you. Together, we are Tala. Stay tuned for more information and new ways to engage with our team online! (Our socials are loading….) Written by: Elaine Raif
By Elaine Raif March 14, 2025
Times like these are unimaginable. As our world continues to drastically (and rapidly) change, the uncertainty of what tomorrow will bring lingers. If you’re having a difficult time coping with current crises (and crises yet to come), that is normal . Stressed, confused, discouraged and overwhelmed are appropriate responses to such loss and displacement. When we label our current context as unprecedented or ambiguous, we start to accept that finding a straightforward solution to these ever-changing issues is unrealistic . We know that the symbolic and systemic impact of recent crises will reveal itself over time and we can not and should not face it alone. Times like these tap into our generational and ancestral trauma. It calls for our survival instincts and leads us back to ancestral, pre-colonial values of community and kinship. As we seek peace and justice, let’s turn towards and hold one another. Anchor in the new reality of our context – focus on your scope of control. Listen to the messages your feelings and body are sending – trust that your body has good direction. Reach for one another – we will not resolve nor move through this alone. How might we meet ourselves with gentleness and flexibility? How can we encourage our community to do the same? What does “care” look like each day? How do we begin co-creating spaces that center our safety?  Written by: Elaine Raif
By Elaine Raif February 27, 2025
Community, We continue to extend support to those impacted by recent changes in immigration policy. To our immigrant community and asylum seekers, we want to remind you of our commitment to inclusivity and mental health care where everyone feels accepted, understood and valued. Now more than ever, we must empower one another with knowledge and resources that keep us informed and safe. From legal aid to preparedness toolkits, view link below for a list of resources: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1mszJOLiVhNxanJTqXEZvrZXo88-RFycSOggJJc3W70c/edit?usp=sharing You may also find printed Red Cards available at our Belmont and Naples Plaza offices while supplies last. We stand in solidarity with our immigrant communities and will continue to practice in alignment with our core values. Written by: Elaine Raif
Share by: