When assessing our situations, relationships, and decisions, we might find ourselves in conflict with ourselves. We may have thoughts, feedback or opinions that appear opposing, creating internal conflict and it’s usually accompanied by ‘but’s.
For example:
The power of ‘and’ is accepting both statements to be true. Instead of negating one another, they can and do co-exist. Try replacing ‘but’s with ‘and’s:
When we frequently use ‘but’s, we limit our ability to be flexible, (self-) forgiving, and complex.
Instead, practicing the power of ‘and’ helps us understand our experiences as nuanced. It is validating our experiences without compromising how we think of ourselves and how we communicate with others.
Humans are complex and although it seems like we’re merely replacing words – words matter. The difference between possibilities and limitations lies in the negative loop of ‘but’s.
Written by: Elaine Raif
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